The past month has been incredibly hectic for me. I’ve moved to New York City and started my job about two weeks ago! It’s all been amazing. I have friends, opportunities, and a life here; something that I didn’t have when I was living in Montreal with my (verbally abusive) ex boyfriend. I don’t feel isolated, I feel alive. I don’t feel meek, I feel strong. I know longer feel like I do not have any options because I have a fulfilling life to live. I know longer rely on anybody else, because I make my own money and my own decisions.
Within 7 months my life has gone from depressing, to turned completely upside down, to peaceful and I am now finally at a place of excitement and strength. This is a reminder to all who are still suffering with the pain of their previously (or currently) abusive relationships. For those of you who left, stay strong! The storm will pass! Those of you who haven’t left, continue to remind yourself that you are worth way more than what you’ve been dealing with. You are all SO much stronger than you think you are. After the pain and all the unanswered questions become quite in your mind you will feel more alive than you ever did. Life only hands you struggles that you can handle, you can and WILL get through this!
I want to thank my co-blogger for posting and tweeting away while I get settled into a new city, new job and new life. I am happy to be back!
Love & Strength
xo Hope ox
Seeking counsel after you leave an abusive relationship is something I highly recommend. Speaking to someone who is knowledgeable about the issue can provide sound insight when you’ve been left confused, hurt and, broken.
Recently, I was fortunate to connect with Kellie Jo Holly, advocate against domestic violence and the founder of AbuseJournals.com. I was seeking advice on how to cope with lingering loose-ends, so to speak, of my former verbally abusive relationship, which I had been struggling with for months.
Kellie’s insight gave me the strength I needed to push forward and break the barriers I was imposing upon myself. Being a survivor of verbal abuse and an educated counselor in the field, she was the best resource that I could have found during my time of pain and confusion.
That being said, Kellie has been mentoring for some time now and is growing a base of mentors to help victims of abuse. I encourage you to explore this resource, especially if you’re in need of answers to what may seem, countless questions.
Further, if you want to share your story and hone your counseling skills, be a mentor! There are also opportunities to join her amazing team.
Thanks for everything, Kellie Jo. Keep up the fantastic work! ❤
The DIVA Team
Today I decided it would be a good idea to check up on my Instagram account; TERRIBLE idea. I came across my picture feed where my ex had “liked” several things and left numerous comments on our mutual friends pictures. I then went to delete all of the pictures on my account that had anything to do with him.
Not too long after my brilliant plan feelings of sadness, pain and disbelief were stirred up again. UGH! I have such a difficult time with the fact that he has not reached out to me. I thought that was what abusers do; apologize and try to lure you back into the relationship? I know I don’t actually want contact with him. Yet there is a large part of me that wants the satisfaction of seeing how much he cares, as opposed to knowing based on what I’ve read about people who are abusive. I wrote my ex two emails a month after I left him and highlighted EVERY SINGLE ONE of the areas in which he was verbally/emotionally/coercively abusive in chart-form. ( patting-myself-on-back )
But still, how is he not reaching out? How is he commenting, uploading, “liking” pictures as though he isn’t a wounded individual that needs to seek therapy! Here I am unable to even be on social media yet he’s all up on it as though our relationship, and the nature of our break-up never happend. How come my letter hasn’t hit home for him with regard to the fact that HE is in the wrong, and I’m not the only girl who he’s done this too; just the first not to call the police.
Now, the thing that is so painful is that it appears as though he doesn’t care. But, in fact, he cares more than I do. I have to keep reminding myself that he is just putting on a front to make it seem as though he isn’t fazed by our breakup when he is actually torn up.
I will be so happy when I am fully healed, because times like these make me think that I will never get over him.
xo Hope ox