A couple months ago I was honored to have been asked by Kellie Jo Holly to become a mentor for Verbalabusejournals.com. Kellie has a survivor-mentor program in which survivors have an online mentor-mentee relationship with those who are in, or have left, abusive relationships.
I’ve been a mentor now since May 1st and it has been truly rewarding. One of the things I’ve found the most striking is how similar abusive relationships are. The individual who I am mentoring had a completely different relationship and experienced different kinds of abuse than I did. However, there are SEVERAL similarities between the two relationships an the nature of the abuse.
It’s been an amazing experience and has been yet another step in my healing process. If you, or anybody you know, would benefit from having a mentor PLEASE contact myself at firstname.lastname@example.org or contact Kellie Jo Holly at verbalabusejournals.com .
Xo Hope oX
I still think about my ex boyfriend everyday. Ugh. However, the thoughts that I do have, have decreased to only two most frequent thoughts. This is an improvement seeing as though only 6 months ago my thoughts were jumbled clutter consisting of multiple thoughts within the same thought; that was tiring. Currently, my main thoughts are:
#1 When will things go sideways for him?
This is by far my most frequent thought. It doesn’t make sense that he is still living in this world where the majority of people think he’s amazing. He’s got to get tired of it at some point, living a life of lies must be exhausting! I’m not going to sit around holding my breath for him to go to jail for selling drugs, or being abusive. However, I do believe that at some point in his life, someone who thinks the world of him will catch wind of the side of him he tries to hide, and will then understand why I left.
#2. Why is his family unable to see through him?
This thought is pretty consistent as well. There are multiple signs that my ex is a hot mess and yet they choose to ignore all the signs. Perhaps they know, and are in denial. Perhaps they are tired of solving his issues for him and don’t want to get their hands dirty again. Still yet maybe they are oblivious to what his happening right in front of them. I am no longer in the place where these thoughts consumes my day, but I still think about it. All in all it makes me sad that the people in his life don’t seem to be concerned with his emotional and mental health. Their primary concern appears to be his career success, which he has lots of.
I’ve concluded that the primary reasons why I still think about my ex so often is due to the nature of my work as well as this blog; not mention with any form of abuse it takes time to heal. I am thankful for my mindfulness as it has enabled me to monitor my healing process. I’ve made huge strides, but I still have quite a bit of work to do. Do you still have thoughts about your abusive ex boyfriend or girlfriend? What are they? Thanks for sharing!
xo Hope ox