My name is Hope and I am 1/2 of the DIVAProject! I’ve finally reached THE point where I am no longer ashamed or scared to share my identity — YAY! I want to start summarizing/critiquing/sharing different articles that I am currently reading on Domestic Violence and more specifically Intimate Partner Violence. My goal is […]
I sometimes contemplate the concept of fairness. Is it fair that good people suffer?
In that vein, I occasionally think about my abusive ex-boyfriend with regards to the concept of fairness. After all the put-downs, the aggression and downright disrespect, he continues to go through life as though nothing happened, void of any remorse or a sense of wrong-doing (or so it seems).
It’s not fair; not in the slightest. It’s not right that the rest of his friends and family think he’s an emotionally healthy and good-natured man. He got away with it scot-free. It’s not fair that I have to reconcile with this, knowing that I will NEVER get the apology I seek.
These situations aren’t fair, but that doesn’t make them less purposeful to those that suffer the consequences. What I have gained from this is a level of strength that I wouldn’t have otherwise, had he not treated me the way he did.
Fairness and lack thereof can be a difficult pill to swallow. However, bear in mind that life is doing this FOR you and not TO you. The difficulties you face will only hone your character, strengthening your abilities to deal with life’s greater challenges.
Let them go and live your life. Fairness, much like sadness and happiness, comes in waves and is never constant. You will be fine and those ex-abusers just helped you, in the most unlikely of ways, become a stronger and better you.
Whenever I have those down days, moments, and thoughts I listen to this song and it reminds me of how strong I am. YOU are just as strong. Have Faith in yourself and the rest will follow. ~ DIVA ~ xo Hope ox
A couple months ago I was honored to have been asked by Kellie Jo Holly to become a mentor for Verbalabusejournals.com. Kellie has a survivor-mentor program in which survivors have an online mentor-mentee relationship with those who are in, or have left, abusive relationships.
I’ve been a mentor now since May 1st and it has been truly rewarding. One of the things I’ve found the most striking is how similar abusive relationships are. The individual who I am mentoring had a completely different relationship and experienced different kinds of abuse than I did. However, there are SEVERAL similarities between the two relationships an the nature of the abuse.
It’s been an amazing experience and has been yet another step in my healing process. If you, or anybody you know, would benefit from having a mentor PLEASE contact myself at firstname.lastname@example.org or contact Kellie Jo Holly at verbalabusejournals.com .
Upon waking up today, I asked myself “Is it Friday yet?”, immediately a sense of guilt washed over me. Why am I wanting time to pass me by? Time is both precious and limited. There are so many blessings in my life, I don’t think I could count them all. Learning to live in the now is one of the fundamental elements of yoga and meditation. Living in the now leads to increased self awareness and appreciation for where YOU are in your life (and at this very moment) now. It leads us to be more thankful of the many blessings that we take for granted daily. Since moving to NYC a little over a month ago I’ve only taken two yoga classes… I think it’s time I reconnect with my mat and practice living in the now.
Seeking counsel after you leave an abusive relationship is something I highly recommend. Speaking to someone who is knowledgeable about the issue can provide sound insight when you’ve been left confused, hurt and, broken.
Recently, I was fortunate to connect with Kellie Jo Holly, advocate against domestic violence and the founder of AbuseJournals.com. I was seeking advice on how to cope with lingering loose-ends, so to speak, of my former verbally abusive relationship, which I had been struggling with for months.
Kellie’s insight gave me the strength I needed to push forward and break the barriers I was imposing upon myself. Being a survivor of verbal abuse and an educated counselor in the field, she was the best resource that I could have found during my time of pain and confusion.
That being said, Kellie has been mentoring for some time now and is growing a base of mentors to help victims of abuse. I encourage you to explore this resource, especially if you’re in need of answers to what may seem, countless questions.
Further, if you want to share your story and hone your counseling skills, be a mentor! There are also opportunities to join her amazing team.
Our thoughts are with Amanda Berry, Michelle Knight and, Gina DeJesus; three remarkable women of strength, courage and perseverance. Know that you have a worldwide community of women who share your pain and root in the victory of your freedom. From the bottom of our hearts, we wish you all the blessings in life that you deserve.
If you’re having an off day or a rough patch in your life please remember that they are just the growing pains of life. Whatever you are going through you can handle it and you will grow from from it. This song, written and sung by Brandon and Leah, is a song I listen to […]