~ DIVA ~
My name is Hope and I am 1/2 of the DIVAProject! I’ve finally reached THE point where I am no longer ashamed or scared to share my identity — YAY! I want to start summarizing/critiquing/sharing different articles that I am currently reading on Domestic Violence and more specifically Intimate Partner Violence. My goal is […]
“Don’t be careful. You could hurt yourself.” – Byron Katie
Challenges, risks, open hearts and fearlessness work in your favor. Don’t shy away from taking a leap of faith, even if it scares you. If you do take the plunge, you will never regret a day in your life.
Here’s to making life count.
~ DIVA ~
I sometimes contemplate the concept of fairness. Is it fair that good people suffer?
In that vein, I occasionally think about my abusive ex-boyfriend with regards to the concept of fairness. After all the put-downs, the aggression and downright disrespect, he continues to go through life as though nothing happened, void of any remorse or a sense of wrong-doing (or so it seems).
It’s not fair; not in the slightest. It’s not right that the rest of his friends and family think he’s an emotionally healthy and good-natured man. He got away with it scot-free. It’s not fair that I have to reconcile with this, knowing that I will NEVER get the apology I seek.
These situations aren’t fair, but that doesn’t make them less purposeful to those that suffer the consequences. What I have gained from this is a level of strength that I wouldn’t have otherwise, had he not treated me the way he did.
Fairness and lack thereof can be a difficult pill to swallow. However, bear in mind that life is doing this FOR you and not TO you. The difficulties you face will only hone your character, strengthening your abilities to deal with life’s greater challenges.
Let them go and live your life. Fairness, much like sadness and happiness, comes in waves and is never constant. You will be fine and those ex-abusers just helped you, in the most unlikely of ways, become a stronger and better you.
~ DIVA ~
…No one can make you feel inferior without your consent – Eleanor Roosevelt
Be brave, think big, love yourself. Have a beautiful week.
~DIVA~ Xo Hope oX
Tuesday Morning Jams, Madonna’s “Sorry” is empowering and real. Thinking of all you who are still hearing “apologies” from people who are abusive and treat you poorly. ~DIVA~ xo Hope ox
The past month has been incredibly hectic for me. I’ve moved to New York City and started my job about two weeks ago! It’s all been amazing. I have friends, opportunities, and a life here; something that I didn’t have when I was living in Montreal with my (verbally abusive) ex boyfriend. I don’t feel isolated, I feel alive. I don’t feel meek, I feel strong. I know longer feel like I do not have any options because I have a fulfilling life to live. I know longer rely on anybody else, because I make my own money and my own decisions.
Within 7 months my life has gone from depressing, to turned completely upside down, to peaceful and I am now finally at a place of excitement and strength. This is a reminder to all who are still suffering with the pain of their previously (or currently) abusive relationships. For those of you who left, stay strong! The storm will pass! Those of you who haven’t left, continue to remind yourself that you are worth way more than what you’ve been dealing with. You are all SO much stronger than you think you are. After the pain and all the unanswered questions become quite in your mind you will feel more alive than you ever did. Life only hands you struggles that you can handle, you can and WILL get through this!
I want to thank my co-blogger for posting and tweeting away while I get settled into a new city, new job and new life. I am happy to be back!
Love & Strength
xo Hope ox
Seeking counsel after you leave an abusive relationship is something I highly recommend. Speaking to someone who is knowledgeable about the issue can provide sound insight when you’ve been left confused, hurt and, broken.
Recently, I was fortunate to connect with Kellie Jo Holly, advocate against domestic violence and the founder of AbuseJournals.com. I was seeking advice on how to cope with lingering loose-ends, so to speak, of my former verbally abusive relationship, which I had been struggling with for months.
Kellie’s insight gave me the strength I needed to push forward and break the barriers I was imposing upon myself. Being a survivor of verbal abuse and an educated counselor in the field, she was the best resource that I could have found during my time of pain and confusion.
That being said, Kellie has been mentoring for some time now and is growing a base of mentors to help victims of abuse. I encourage you to explore this resource, especially if you’re in need of answers to what may seem, countless questions.
Further, if you want to share your story and hone your counseling skills, be a mentor! There are also opportunities to join her amazing team.
- If you’d like a mentor, the address to visit is http://verbalabusejournals.com/help-with-domestic-abuse/
- The application to be a mentor can be found at: http://verbalabusejournals.com/help-with-domestic-abuse/domestic-violence-survivor-mentors/i-want-to-be-a-survivors-mentor-application/
Thanks for everything, Kellie Jo. Keep up the fantastic work! ❤
The DIVA Team
Our thoughts are with Amanda Berry, Michelle Knight and, Gina DeJesus; three remarkable women of strength, courage and perseverance. Know that you have a worldwide community of women who share your pain and root in the victory of your freedom. From the bottom of our hearts, we wish you all the blessings in life that you deserve.
The DIVA Team