Thinking About My Ex…

I still think about my ex boyfriend everyday. Ugh. However, the thoughts that I do have, have  decreased to only two most frequent thoughts. This is an improvement seeing as though only 6 months ago my thoughts were jumbled clutter consisting of multiple thoughts within the same thought; that was tiring. Currently, my main thoughts are:

#1 When will things go sideways for him?

This is by far my most frequent thought. It doesn’t make sense that he is still living in this world where the majority of people think he’s amazing. He’s got to get tired of it at some point, living a life of lies must be exhausting! I’m not going to sit around holding my breath for him to go to jail for selling drugs, or being abusive. However, I do believe that at some point in his life, someone who thinks the world of him will catch wind of the side of him he tries to hide, and will then understand why I left.

#2. Why is his family unable to see through him?

This thought is pretty consistent as well. There are multiple signs that my ex is a hot mess and yet they choose to ignore all the signs. Perhaps they know, and are in denial. Perhaps they are tired of solving his issues for him and don’t want to get their hands dirty again. Still yet maybe they are oblivious to what his happening right in front of them. I am no longer in the place where these thoughts consumes my day, but I still think about it. All in all it makes me sad that the people in his life don’t seem to be concerned with his emotional and mental health. Their primary concern appears to be his career success, which he has lots of.

I’ve concluded that  the primary reasons why I  still think about my ex so often is due to the nature of my work as well as this blog; not mention with any form of abuse it takes time to heal. I am thankful for my mindfulness as it has enabled me to monitor my healing process. I’ve made huge strides, but I still have quite a bit of work to do. Do you still have thoughts about your abusive ex boyfriend or girlfriend? What are they? Thanks for sharing!

~DIVA~

xo Hope ox

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Stop Making Excuses…

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I came across this gem on Instagram a couple of days ago. I like it because it brings humor to a very serious issue. I find all too often  women, much more than men, make excuses for the way their significant other acts. And this very issue is at the heart of an abusive relationship. Bottom line is that nobody, man or woman, should ever verbally, coercively, sexually, emotionally or physically abuse you. There is NO excuse for people who are abusive. These are some of the excuses I made for my ex boyfriend:

  • “He’s really tired, I should have had dinner ready on time.”
  • “He just had a serious concussion, he’s still recovering.”
  • “He just got fired from his job, it’s only natural for him to take it out on me.”
  • “He’s working way harder than I am, I shouldn’t have brought up that issue that was bothering me.”
  • “It’s selfish of me to go out with my friends when he can’t because he’s so busy.”

 

These are only a few examples of the excuses I made for my ex. I made these kind of excuses every day. What are some of the excuses you previously made for you ex? If you are currently in an abusive relationship, are you able to recognize the excuses you are making for your partner and what are they?

Happy Tuesday

~DIVA~

xo Hope ox